scenes from a midwestern coffeeshop

I am surrounded by sound. Always. But truth be told, I'd rather be in a pretentious red room bumping M.I.A or some sort of sonic facsimile than im my own "home" where the white walls are rattling with the bass of some sort of regurgitated idea of "street".

It is friday night.

I have groceries. And movies. And a buzz from the wine and cigarettes.

It's okay, I walked.

In fact, my face is flushed and I'm tempted to remove my sweatshirt.

There are kids everywhere, they're everywhere and they look so young and I feel so old, and I wonder if I look as old as I feel. This ain't supposed to be a scene, it's a goddamn coffeeshop. I wonder if these kids know how good they've got it.

This photograph is proof, and this Sam Shepard book is cred.

My haircut doesn't suck enough to be here.

I like this M.I.A. song.

He looks too familar and too much my type for me to notice him.

its 10:40 and I don't know where my children are, let alone my boy.

I don't need to calm down.I've been too calm for too long.

Fuck it, this book isn't getting read. But I need to.

Savage Republic (hoarding emotional vicodin)

:

Can I tell you a story about how one time I completely lost my shit? I did, resulting in the most emo freakout of all time. Allow me to explain: first there was the finding of the girl that pretty much is responsible for the dissintergration of my last "meaningful relationship" on facebook. And what's worse is she's in my network and has not disabled ANYTHING in her minifeed. My friends tried to help. They told me she looks like a boy. That's a boldfaced lie, but you know, thanks anyway. And then there was the finding out that they're still together. And then there was the slamming of both my hands in my window. Followed by a day of carbo-loading, and another evening of wine followed by another one of beer and whiskey. I almost made another life altering fuck up of a decision, but decided that I'd better pass out in somebody else's bed and walk home alone in a miniskirt at 4 in the morning. Throw some cigarettes in the mix and you've got my week in a nutshell.

Playwrights are the new boys in bands. I went to to the Rich Orloff reading for class last night, and decided that on the whole, he is not an unattractive man. A little wrinkly, but you know what they say about wrinkles.....too much time in LA. I had an awkward conversation about wine with Steve Feffer.

Anyone wanna go to the Murder By Death Show in Chicago on saturday? I'll throw in for gas, seeing as Amy Grindhouse is starting to make even scarier noises when I brake.

I could be hungry.

Rent's due.

Is it sad that I could get back with Justin at this point? I've been thinking about it seriously. Maybe its because I'm lonely. Maybe it's because I haven't made a pros and cons list yet.

Can't. Stop. Yawning.

Also need to start formulating how I want my schedule to go next semester.

I got accepted for the journalism minor. Yay school! Does this mean I have to do something lame like write for the Western Herald? GOD, I hope not.

I wish I wasn't so emo.

I just realized how terrible people can be. We all know what a terrible person I am, what terrible people my exes are and the less than perfect momenets my friends have.

She is beautiful, but she don't mean a thing to me.

Sometimes fate is just a trainwreck of extraordinary coincidences piled up one on top of the other, on top of the other. A remix of encounters.