In Which The Nightmares As Well As Summer Begin

Last night was weird. I was sleeping so hard, it was difficult for me to even recognise how I was even postioned on the bed. I recall feeling like my head was at the foot of the bed and that I was hanging off the bed (both of which were false assumptions). I went to bed pretty early, just after 10 or so. When I woke up, it was 4:30 and I was wide awake. The asshole DJ on the public classical/jazz station I listen to at night was playing all this uptempo shit, which I'm normally down with, just not when I'm trying to fall back asleep. It wasn't even loud, just fast. And then I started thinking, which was the wet, sloppy makeout of death. Because thinking turned into worrying and worrying turned into crying, and crying turned into wandering the house, which turned into going back to sleep and almost oversleeping for work.

It just hit me how much I need a job, and how much the places I apply to don't call me back. What's so wrong with me as a job candidate that I can't even get a secretary job at a nonprofit? What's so wrong with the jobs I select? is it because I have no idea what I'm doing, or because I'm grossly over/underqualified? I'm officially freaking out and I don't know what I'm going to do, because I cannot function/survive without a job, and I cannot be in my mom's house/pocketbook any longer. I would bartend, but I don't know of any bartenders that get health benefits.

And weddings are full of bullshit and expense. I now have two weddings to attend within a month of each other. That's two presents right there. However, the bridal showers are within a week of each other. That's two more presents (and I'm pretty sure neither of these chicks are going to have a melon baller on their registries). And then we still have to consider the bullshit of buying a dress, makeup, hair, shoes, accessories, a fat German named Gunther...jesus. Things are looking up on the dress front, though. I just found out that a couple of the dresses that I had my eye on are severely on sale. Basically, if they're still available when I get paid in a week, I can get two dresses for the price of one!

Last week was a whirl and a blur, and now I have no idea what I did before I got a life. Between the Rihanna concert, Name That Tune, the G. Love and Fitz and the Tantrums show and Matt being around that weekend, I was rocking it hard (especially if you take into consideration that I got to meet Fitz and G. Love).

Next week: Auto-Tune Kareoke.

Today's goal: send off three more apps.

I never know what to say in cover letters.

Apartment hunting this weekend and hopefully Sandra Cisneros reading. And writing. Holy shitballs, do I need to write.