cramps. black eye (not mine). random people sleeping on my futon. It's like my unofficial welcome back party.

High five: I'm not preggo

fml: I'm fucking up at work already. (missed 2 class visits.)

Um, this is mostly so I don't forget what the fuck went on last night.

Around 8:15, my friend Stephanie calls me to hang out and get adult bevvys. She says she's buying. I have never had a problem with this. I drive to her place and we walk over to Harvey's. We're walking when she gets a call from her friend Brent. She invites him to join us. Brent brings Zack, who has been putting things in Stephanie, and has been slightly toolish. We let him off the hook for personal reasons. Its the four of us boozin, have a few laughs. Me and Brent are really hitting it off. Really hitting it off. Like if i were single and I played my cards a little differently, I could have totally gotten some. Zack and Stephanie take off, but Brent and I continue to bullshit into the night. He offers to walk me home, er, to my car, which I was going to ask him to do anyway. A block and a half to go, if that, we see people sitting on the porch. We talk to them and we are nice. They are nice. They share their beer with Brent. One neglected detail: Brent likes to talk shit. A lot. He thinks its funny when people are mad. I blame the fact that he is 5'5, 5'6 on a good day. The next thing I know, this kid who was passed out on the porch leaps up, and just starts roughing him up a little. No big thing I think he can hold his own, so I wait to see if he needs assistance. When Brent ends up on a car, I go over with one of the other girls to break it up. Its too late, the damage has been done. Brent is bleeding from the head. It looks a lot worse than it really is, but he's having issues remembering what happened five minutes ago. He's definitely not concussed, just drunk. We then proceed to go 1.5 blocks in 1.5 hours. It takes that long to make amends with the porch people, get Brent cleaned up and WALK A BLOCK AND A FUCKING HALF. People keep talking and I just want to go to bed. We get to my car, and I try to take him back to where he's staying (with Zack, I think). Epic fail. He can't remember and neither can I. I'm not interrupting Zack and Stephanie, regardless of what they may or may not be doing. Brent says that everybody's sleeping and he wouldn't be able to get in anyway, so i take his tiny ass home with me. Nothing happens, I just set him up on the futon with water and blankets. I proceed to write Jill a don't freak the fuck out about the boy that magically appeared in our living room note and try to go to bed. its 3:30, maybe 4 at this point. I have to be in to work by 9. At 8:30, I'm ready to go, so I get Brent up. I shepherd him to my car and drop him off at Academy and Westenege. That was my night.

I shit you not.

It's better if you hear me tell it, all Moth Podcast style.