my secret. stop me if you think that you've heard this one before

Happy Birthday

I still love you.

I'd get almost get back together with Justin if it meant that I could just forget you already.

But it doesn't, so I can't, so I won't.

And you'll never know. You'll never see me again.

Happy birthday.

may it be the kindest you've ever known.

I kinda always knew you'd end up my ex-boyfriend

So I don't know what to do with or about my life. This is really turning into a rant and bitch forum about Tony and I don't want that. My remedy:

I've moved back to Kalamazoo, gotten an apartment in a slightly sketchy neighborhood, but my friends don't live far. There are trains but they don't bother me (much). There's an abandoned coffeehouse next door, but it looks like they're opening back up soon. I'm stealing internet from them to type this. I went to Flordia last weekend, and all I got was this lousy cold. I've been living on juice and chips and salsa. There are boys named Dan that find their way into my brain. One could be gay. my apartment is always 15 degrees hotter than what it really is outside.

There, now back to Tony.

I've been in touch with him, but the last I heard, he was in Chicago. I was pretty pissed about that (something about that being MY turf?). But due to some unintentional stalking, it turns out that he'll be in town next weekend to celebrate his birthday. As in Kalamazoo. neutral territory, right? Right? I've got two votes from my camp that say crash it. I've got one vote from me that says I should not. It would be officially be crossing over into his turf. I'm a shark and he's a jet and no amount halfstepshuffleslidestepstepkicks would be able to quell the awkwardness. you dig?

I'm tired of thinking about it so I'm ignoring it altogether, now.

Dear voice: please come back so I can sing showtunes and annoy my neighbors again.