In Which A Shower Makes Makes Me Clean, But Not Better

I'm being talked about in the other room. I knew this. I showered, hoping to clean up as well as kill the time and ignore that this was going on. I returned, cleaner, but still the hot topic. The next best thing would be to escape out the door, overpricedd cigarettes in hand, but both ways out would be through the verbal shooting lines. I'm not listening to music because that is overt ostritch behavior. The next best thing is to fill everyone in on the situation because the typing of the keys is just quiet enough to not draw any attention to where I am but is just loud enough to mute the voices.

I have to be up in the morning but I am so tense and anxious, I assure you that I am not going to bed anytime soon.

I don't like being a problem when I didn't set out to be one.

I stopped typing. I have a perverse obsession with control and eavesdropping. I was interested in knowing what was happening, now I am back to literate ostritch style moves. The silent ambiance is important as anything esle right now. I feel sick. I am cold. There is only one thing i can fix.

Nothing left to say at the moment....perhaps I shall catch up on all the reading I've fallen behind on.

All this time and I still haven't finished The Great Gatsby.

Maybe I'll cut my nails.

Maybe I'll reset the clock.